Category Archives: Motherhood

Exclusively Pumping: Part Two

Since the day i started pumping, my pump schedule has not changed. I have tried to change it but unfortunately for me it hasnt worked out. Rememeber last post when i said pumping was ALOT OF FREAKING WORK? ya. it is. its crazy. This has what has worked for me, this will not work for everyone. I will say consistency is key. IMHO (in my honest opinion) you cant just “skip a pump” or “delay pumps” you just need to get it done. I have Oaks, almost 5yo and Haynes of course so pumping is not easy keeping them both occupied but i gotta get it done! Just remember that pumping is exactly as nursing a baby. Baby’s dont skip feeding so dont skip your pumps!

My pump schedule goes as follows:

2am, 6am, 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm, 15-20 min each pump. *I* get usually 2-3 let downs, after my 2nd letdown if i don’t get a 3rd i pump for 5 min after the milk stops flowing. If i DO let down a 3rd time once the milk stops after that time i pump 5 more minutes and then i am done till me next pump.

Since i almost lost my supply in the beginning due to Haynes being unable to nurse, i had to word really hard to bring it back, so here’s some tips, tricks, and things that helped me boost my supply.

  1. make sure you have either seen a IBCLC or properly followed the chart to make sure you have the best fitting flanges possible. THIS will give you the best output of milk in my opinion, as well as dry fresh pump parts! along with #2 listed below
  2. CONSISTENCY! make a schedule, every 2-3 hours and pump your life away girl!
  3. drink water! you dont need to drink 1/2 your body weight like alot of people think, drink to thirst, when your thirsty your body is telling you HEY DRINK WATER SO I CAN MAKE MORE MILKY MILK!
  4. make sure you have a hospital grade double electric, my spectra is life.
  5. have a good balanced diet and eat 3 meals a day and healthy snacks if you are hungry inbetween!
  6. at the end of each pump, pump for 5 minutes past your last drop of milk! this triggers your body to make more milk for the next feeding
  7. power pumping! for the first few months i power pumped every night at my 9pm pump. Power pumping is pumping on and off for 1 hours straight. this triggers your body to make more milk by mimicking a baby that would cluster feed. My power pumping went like so pump 20min, break 10min, pump 10min, break 10min. pump 10min.
  8. try and get a good sleep, and that’s totally easier said than done, but if you can get a nap in or have hubby take a night feeding try that!
  9. Avoid Fenugreek. soooooo many people things this helps your supply, when in all reality MANY MORE people have seen their supplies TANK after this!
  10. during you pump session, use a hot compress and massage your tatas to better help the milk get flowing!
  11. IF you need to see your doctor! they can prescribe you something (Domperidone or Raglan) to help raise your prolactin levels. OF COURSE THIS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE!! SPEAK TO YOUR DOCTOR!!!!
  12. LAST BUT NOT VERY LEAST AT ALL!!!!!! — VERY early on i ordered herbal supplements from LegendairyMilk and this i truly believe has helped me the most out of anything i have tried(besides #1&2), Luna, the shop owner is AH-MAZING! they have all different types of blends to help with things like production of milk, promt better flow of milk, stimulate prolactin, increase mammary tissue, increase milk fat content of your milk, and many more. I PROMISE YOU YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED. Whats even better? All herbs used are USDA Certified Organic – no dairy, soy, wheat, eggs or peanuts. My PERSONAL FAVORITE is Milkapolooza! So dont walk, RUN, over to her website and take a look, she also has Instagram and Etsy where the reviews speak for themselves! If you are unsure which one you may want to buy if you do decide to give them a try, just contact her on etsy and she can help you find a blend that works for you! (no! this is not a sponsored post! i truly love her product and will continue to buy it until i finish pumping!)

here’s a before and after photo since using legendairymilk, as well as a link to a video to show how the fat content of my milk went from non exsistance to CREAM BABY!!

Exclusively Pumping. Part One

So here i am, i’m just a mom, who never thought i would be Exclusively Pumping. I didn’t choose this, this is not exactly how i pictured my “breastfeeding journey” to be, this time around. This is not something i ever thought i would have to “deal” with, but here i am, i’m an EP’ing mama, in Canada, and i add “in Canada” because it seems like there is not a lot of EPer up here in the great white north 🙂 I’m hoping this post helps someone, reaches out to someone, makes people understand, and supports anyone who may need it. i feel like this is something i needed to hear when i first started EP’in. i didn’t know where to look for support or where to find information or what i was even getting myself into. This may end up being a couple part series about pumping, all different aspects i hope to cover from the whys, to the how can i, to the what do i need, to the you are enough support! so here i go, from this mama whos 8 months into my pumping journey, i’m no expert but i’m making my way…

WHY? why did you start EPing? So my story starts with my sweetest little. He was born at 8lbs 10oz. He from the beginning, didn’t seem to “get it,” nursing was always a struggle. We tried so many things. after a weigh in at 10 days, he was barely up to his birth weight, and i thought what the heck?! all he does it eat all day everyday. how could that be? maybe i was naive because i fed from the breast “nursing” with my first born for 15 months with virtually no issues, and i thought this time would be a breeze just like that. WRONG. So at 10 days, i called a Lactation Consultant (around 300$), i told her our issues, and she agreed to me with ,me the following Monday. Monday came and when she came over all i did was cry, i cried in my bed because my baby wasn’t eating. i was pretty sure he had a lip and tongue tip. and she did confirm it, she sat with me while i tried to open his mouth  to nurse, tried to change positions, tried to do anything in my power to nurse, but he wouldn’t.

I will say my nipples had never been so sore in my entire life. i mean bleeding, more then cracked, and i would cry every time i latched him. After a few days of this, the pain went away and when she(the lactation consultant) seen my nipples for the first time she said oh my goodness you must be in so much pain, i said i was, but the pain had subsided quite a bit. She told me that was because i had 3rd degree nipple trauma where the nerve ending was so damaged that it basically takes away any pain but they were so butchered. She gave me medi-honey and it was my saving grace, i could notice a difference within a day or two, this was life changing for me, and i was healed up in no time.

She offered me this “sns” system for feeding which is virtually a little tube that you can attach to your breast and have milk in the container around your neck so while they nurse they don’t have to work as hard to get milk but they are still at the breast encouraging milk flow.  We tried everything for around 2 hours, and she said yes, you are doing everything correctly, Haynes just cant latch because of his lip/tongue tie. She than referred me to a pediatric Dentist that specializes in releasing ties via laser. I got in with her just 3 days later, At 2 weeks old, Haynes was still not at his birth weight, he always was trying to nurse but still couldn’t get it. While at the dentist she confirmed our suspicions of a LT/TT and she told me he also had a very high pallet. She said Haynes had one of the most extreme LT/TT she had ever seen and she wouldn’t push me to release them but did tell me she highly highly recommended it. She went into telling me about how if your tongue is restricted it cant do other functions later in life. So he wouldn’t just be affected by the inability to nurse, he would be a high chance of Speech delays or other speech issues as well as other oral hygiene issues. I went in there knowing i was going to get them released as i was longing for another wonderful from-the-breast breastfeeding journey, so that is exactly what i did. The cost was around, 1000$, a small portion was covered by my benefits and the rest i paid out of pocket. she of coarse when over the risks and made me sign all these scary papers, and they took him back, by the time i paid for the procedure, and went to the bathroom, he was already finished and outside the room waiting for me to nurse him. i was so happy. they had a nursing room for moms, and brought me back and i nursed him immediately. i could tell right away that he was a MUCH better nurser, and i cried tears of joy! I had to stick around for about 15 minutes for them to continue to monitor the bleeding(which was seriously SO little, i didnt really see any at all), all was great, one of the staff showed me the stretches i had to do 6x a day for 6 weeks and off i went to go home and relearn and reteach Haynes how to nurse.



Things seemed to be going ok, they seemed like he started to really get the hang of it, although he defiantly wasn’t efficient. When out of the blue he had a preference, he would only nurse when i would sit in my bed, holding him in the football hold. We would be out and about and he would cry and cry because he was hungry, but he wouldn’t nurse. in return here i was again crying. So i had to run home, and nurse him, i tried every thing, you name it i tried it, i bought the nursing pillow with me while we were out, i tried bringing a pillow case with me, i tried everything, and nothing was helping. Haynes then went from only nursing in my bed that way to even more specific, it had to be pitch black dark for him to nurse, or else, you guessed it… STRIKE! he wouldn’t nurse. By this time i’m sure i had hardly any hair’s on my head left from stress, i didn’t and he didn’t sleep because he was so damn gassy (found out that it was allergies but that’s for another post…..) my boobs were so engorged because he wouldn’t nurse and i was just, sad, so freaking sad. i cried. ALOT.  After a few weeks of him doing this, Trying to push the breast, trying the use the SNS system, trying to get him to nurse, without success, i decided with a heavy heart, i needed to pump. I spent a week or more thinking about this, and talking to family about it, i’m so lucky that i actually have a local friend who is also a EP’er and she gave me so much strength to do it. Everyone around me knows how much i love from the breast breastfeeding (nursing) and couldn’t believe that i was going to stop, but for my baby, i had to put aside what I wanted and do what was best for him. FED IS BEST. This was probably the 2nd hardest thing i ever had to do, the first being actually pumping. even with pumping, i had attempted to latch him before every single feed for months after switch to EP’ing and bottle feeding. He never nursed again.


So, now i’m pumping. and i have NO IDEA where to start or what to do. what do i need to pump? How often should i pump? how long should i pump? how much should i be feeding my baby? how do i pump and occupy the baby? how do i store breastmilk? what bottles should i use? i was CLUELESS!!! there was so many unknowns. So here’s what worked for me, this by no means will work for everyone, and is just a guide to help.



i’ll share this with you: one day i was at the store and Haynes was HANGRY! so i pulled out a freshly pumped bottle of breastmilk and i got shamed by someone walking by me in the aisle for not breastfeeding my son. SHE DIDN’T KNOW ME! she had no say, whether i was feeding Haynes breastmilk, formula, or nursed him, she had no right to judge me. She didn’t know what i had been though, she didn’t know how hard i fought for feeding from the breast, she didn’t know how many times i cried, she didn’t know. but she judged me. I’ve never felt so little in my life. NEVER. i went home and i cried. I texted my friend, and she was angry for me and apologized for the way the lady treated me. I will never forget how she made me feel that day in the grocery store. I want everyone to remember that YOU DON’T KNOW what someone has been through, you don’t know if they cant breastfeed for medical reasons, or by choice, or because they have tried every possible thing they could do and it still didn’t work out. Don’t judge. As a freshly postpartum mama, this is the life i’m living, no matter if it was by choice or not. This is my life. MY CHILD IS FED! and happy, and thriving. This is why i pump. i pump for him.

So, here’s where part one of my post comes in:

What do you need to pump? ALOT. you need alot of stuff to pump, i will be honest and say pumping is expensive. Some pumps and accessories are covered by insurance while others are not so defiantly look into your insruance and see if you can get any of the following for FREE! or even partially covered!

  1. a pump. i’ve had a Medela PISA, and a speCtra S2. i would never in my life buy anything other than a speCtra again!! As an EP’er you want a pump thats hospital grade esentially. So a full size pump. like i mentioned HANDS DOWN SPECTRA! i love mine because of the price (120$ usd), because its quiet and small, and because its a closed system so you never have to worry about milk flowing into your pump, which can happen with an open machine.
  2. extra pump parts. you need 2 or more of everything. things like Extra tubing, flanges (ensure you have been correctly fitted by a LC so you get the best output of milk! if you cant see a LC find a diagram here on how to get properly fitting flanges), backflow protectors, bottles to pump into, valves and membranes ( i personally find the duckbills give the best output, have 8-10 of these on hand as these you change very often some may last months and other times just weeks). So every part your pump has, 2-3 of each extras, and if you are a working pumping mama, a 2nd pump could also help you out, keep one at home and one at work! all of these things can run you around another (150-350$)
  3. nipple cream. my tried and true is the lansinoh lanolin  around 10$/tube i use this every single time i pump so make sure you have extras on hand.
  4. storage bottles and storage bags. i had to hack my spectra bottle/flanges as i am a 19mm & 17mm flange size(i purchased the correct size from maymom and they have been great, thats who speCtra recommends if you need parts they dont sell). and speCtra only has 24 & 27mm (and maybe a 30?) so i dont actually pump into the speCtra bottles that were provided in the pump(find out HERE what bottles are compatible with your breastpump/flanges i pump into these cheapie first essential bottles which i like because they have the OZ imprinted into the plastic where as alot of the bottles have them wirtten on with some type of colouring or ink that just ends up washing off in the sink and then you never know how much your pumping. i have 4 of these, i just use 2 at a time, and then rinse, and pop in the fridge, and then use the next two if im out of if im washing my other ones. There are other ones like these medelas but i just like that if i need to i can pop over to walmart and grab them, and they are cheap! now once im finished pumping i put all my milk into these storage bottles because i like the lids, and although the writing does wash off after awhile i already know how much ive stored in them because my initial pump bottles told me. As for storage bags, at the end of the night i try to bag up all of my excess milk ive pump for that Haynes never drank, so i transfer from the storage bottles that were in the fridge to these bags. i USED to use the lansinoh, till i had nothing but leaking issues once defrosted, and as an EPer there is nothing worse than seeing all your hard work milk leaking out of the bottom of the bag!
  5. washing “utensils”. a good brush a nipple cleaner, a few of them, as you will notice they get kinda gunky ( is that even a word? ) but from the build up of nipple cream and fatty milk they should just be swapped out often, i use a new one every month. this is that one i use.  A good drying rack will also be your friend. i use this and this
  6. bottles for your baby to feed from: i tried a few bottles as Haynes always seemed to leak milk, not sure why, but it would just pour out of the sides of his mouth that ones that ultimately worked best for us were the playtex nurser bottles. I didn’t go out and buy like a huge set of 10 or 12 bottles. i just got 2, because i can do a quick rinse and pop a new liner in, all i need is just the 2 and i’ve never felt like i needed more. Haynes still drinks 7 bottles a day so i just rotate then 2 and it works great. I also chose these bottles for gas reasons, you push out all the air and all they get is the milk!
  7. family support: this one is very important also, pumping is ALOT of work. it takes ALOT of time and dedication, a supporting significant other can make the world of difference in your pumping journey!
  8. *optional* if you want to be hands free you can try these freemies, which ive heard great things about but i just never went for them, the less money i spent in my eyes the better!!! you could also get an optional portable pump like the speCtra s9+ which is a tiny pump for on the go for a few times a week pumps( i wouldn’t use it more than that as its truly not a strong enough pump to use an an EP’er constantly.) Also optional, are  these cool and hot pads for things like clogs that might arise


next blog post in this “series” will be all about  my pumping schedule!


all about haynes

so lets do a quick run down. He was due on October 3 2016, and born Oct 3rd 2016! That’s right folks! i had TWO due date babies. and that just doesn’t happen! ill spare you the misery i was feeling up to that point, as i was basically told by my OBGYN that i wouldn’t be able to birth a baby over 5 lbs, if i was lucky, and as you may or may not recall i was aiming for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). HOWEVER, i had the most amazing Doula of life. Suzanne, and i had great support system at home, and the Friday before i was due i went into my 40 week OBGYN appt, i was 1.5cm dilated, 75% effaced baby was still high at -2 station i believe, and she did a very intense membrane sweet, so dang hard i remember the exam table shaking. Right after that appy,  I went in for an hour long acupuncture session. Following that appt i was starting to have contractions, for the following two days i was having on again off again prodromal labor. I was supposed to go to my husbands cousins wedding that Saturday night but it was in another city (not too far from ours) but i just wasn’t sure if this was going to turn into the real deal or not. I was texting my SIL on and off again about my contractions. Around 1am they died down and i fell asleep. 430 am they woke me up, with intense back pains with my contractions, i was ecstatic and I decided to time them. They were about 6 min apart for 45 seconds. After a few hours of that, again they died down. Throughout that Sunday morning i was having contractions but i didn’t think too much of it as i had been having them since Friday morning. So i decided to get ready, do my hair and my makeup, which i had not really been doing for the last few weeks and said imma look good today! We got all ready, and left the house to go to my in-laws for our regular Sunday dinner. As we pulled out of the garage i said to my husband, maybe we should grab my hospital bag just incase? he said “nah! ill come back and get it if i need to” We arrived at my In-laws around 230. Shortly after i was standing in the kitchen making banana carrot muffins and GUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(430pm oct.2). my water broke! i  looked up at my mother in law and said my water just broke! she said no it didn’t your not leaking anywhere! i said thats cause i’m trying to hold it in LOL. as if i could do that…. so i yelled to my husband, DONT PANIC BUT MY WATER JUST BROKE. well, as you can imagine he started pacing and freaking out. I shouted up to my sister in law, and she got me a towel, and i boogied over to the bathroom, i pulled down my pants to sit on the toilet and was sad to see i had mecconium in my water. i called my Doula at 436 and said SUZANNE MY WATER JUST BROKE! i told her i had what i was pretty sure was mecconium so she told me to head over to the hospital as i was going for a VBAC the protocol is pretty strict, especially with MEC. I got to the hospital and checked in and told her yes it was confirmed my water broke and she was just in the middle of having a dinner but she was close by and she would be right over…. heres the summary of the next 20 or so hours from notes i got back from my Doula.

October 2 2016
530pm: VBAC protocol, want her NDP, IV, no breaks. Internal lead put in
940pm: Continuous EFM, Stands by bedside and sways.
11pm: hands and knees on bed, Stands leans on bed,
October 3 2016
120am: feels pressure with contractions
1:55am dangle squats & snowplow
3am: sat on the toilet backwards
345am: lay down
450am: 3cm and shaking; wants sitz bath but told no by charge nurse due to internal lead
630am: sit on birthing ball
730am: OBGYN confirmed allowed to go in sitz bath thats why she placed the internal lead.
930am: sits in labor chair — in the zone!!
1050am: sits on toilet.
11am: 5cm
1250pm: 8cm
130pm: lip on cervix, hands and knees
240pm: fully dilated! lip was pushed back by Rachel RN, starts pushing with Marci and Rachel
419pm: BABY BOY! 8lbs 10oz 21inches; natural vaginal delivery.

So, there it is, i had a VBAC, 100% natural, birth my sweetest little Haynes. i most defiantly could not do it without my Doula. And this one amazing nurse Marci. I had some unpleasant experiences like one nurse telling me i was going to end it a repeat c section so i should just take all my jewelry out now.  Ya, i told her to leave and not come back, i didn’t need that negativity in my life. ALSO, the charge nurse that refused to call my OBGYN to get the OK to sit in the sitz bath because she said my dr wouldn’t allow it, even though myself and my Doula heard her say it to me and was the reason for the internal lead placed inside of me so i could come off of continuous monitoring while i was in the bath. I didn’t get EVERYTHING i wanted. i had rented a pool but because i was “thick mec” they didn’t allow it, and i didn’t want an IV, i had to have one. i didn’t want to be continuously monitored but had to be. so it was give and take, i got the birth that i wanted and i couldn’t have been anymore thankful. Immediately i got to do skin to skin, i did delayed cord clamping, and he latched on to breastfeed almost immediately. Haynes came out perfect, in a room full of 2OBGYNs, 1 Doula, 3 nurses, my husband, my sister in law, a pediatrician, a respiratory dr in case Haynes were to breath in the MEC. but it didn’t matter, i didn’t see anyone, all i saw was this perfect human, that i created, being born into a room of love, in the most natural way possible. i KNEW my body could do it. and i’m so happy i had the birth i did, Haynes healed me in so many way that i didn’t know i needed healing.


First Family Photo

First Family Photo

October Favorites

i cant even believe November is here. i’m headed out on vacation soon {whoops i was supposed to post this before vacation and i didnt…} and i just wantedd to get out one last post before i head off!! im so excited. sun. sand. sea. ahh life will be so lovely. this is a family trip! were excited to share our 5 year wedding anniversary with the people we love most!

back to the post. all of these things are things ive been using for the last few months and have been the things i keep using over and over. obsessed? yea. =D enough of this on to my favorites

October 2015 Favorites!

October 2015 Favorites!

ONE first aid beauty’s cleanser, toning pads, and face cream. These products were a game changer for my face. i was in a serious rut with my skin routine, for the longest time i was using Clinique, which used to work well for me.  but the older i get it seems the dryer i get. my skin was SO bad dry, i wanted to cry. i headed over to Sephora, thinking all i needed was to get a foundation for dry skin and an associate (parm) went through several questions with me and we found out it was just the harsh of the Clinique! so i got a “travel” type pack as a test to see if i liked it, and it changed my skin. Within 3 days i noticed a crazy change in my dry skin which i had been battling for months. i’m about 6 months into this new skin routine, and although i have one other eye cream i use (a later post) my skin has never been so clear and so healthy in my life! the travel packs are 40$ i think!
TWO my shade + light contour palette is my new life. its a perfect all in one, the perfect skin toned, and banana powder, and the perfect bronzer colour. my life is complete and its a perfect palette to travel with as its an all in one! 55$
THREE squeak!! this colour though! So i was walking through the mall and decided i wanted to get a few new teas, and i walked into David’s Tea and YES there she was. The perfect travel mug. it has a  built in infuser that you can pop your tea in and screw on the bottom of your lid, or you can take it off and drink coffee out of it. This cup is life. The first time i used it i made a tea at 745 am to take to the children’s hospital to take Oakley for his foot appointment. Well i took it in with me and it was too hot to drink. Our appt ended at 12? 1? i went to the mall, walked around and finally got home at 330 when i opened my mug and it was still steaming HOT. AMAZING!!!!! 30$
FOUR the best brush ever! it detangles, is gentle and works amazing on my wet hair without breaking it! especially since recently i went from red to blonde! im being super gentle and it is just the BEST brush! i got mine at cosmo prof  but ive seen them at all large stores like walmart and target and superstore! 15$
FIVE on the days i drink coffee this is IT!!!! its a medium  blend and is hazelnut! My absolute fav! i used to drink like Tim Hortons coffee etc but NO!! and no to the starbucks! just get this!! i think the bag i buy is 13$ and lasts like a month!
SIX these seem to be my go to boots this fall so far. Ive noticed i pop them on for work dressy days and casual days to just dress up my outfit a tad! they are SO comfortable and these booties are in crazy style! 40$
SEVEN i just picked this up a superstore and usually i’m all eh on toothpastes as i feel like i cant ever find an amazing one, and although i wish this one foamed up a  bit more, it makes my teeth feel SO clean, SUCH fresh breath, and its so long lasting! 3$
EIGHT ouch, at 65ish$, its up there, but its amazing, its perfect, hydrating, buildable, and is very long lasting, i picked mine up at sephora, and my 1 bottle which is a generous size, has lasted me 3+ months and i still have more in my bottle! SCORE BABY!


better late than never! AUGUST FAVORITES!

sorry guys! a little late with this one. 🙂 heres my favs for the month of August and i just cant.freaking.believe.its.september. IS THIS REAL LIFE RIGHT NOW? its like basically christmas lol.


ONE oakley has been obsessed with this little set, specifically the cup with the lid, it has a little clip you pull open and closed and has the perf little hole so not so much beverage comes out at once, oak is a cronic spiller and this has done every well in our house this month!
TWO song of the month has been i love only you by nitty gritty dirt band, lord knows its old, but its just sooooo good, and everyone who knows me KNOWS i love me some country.
THREE nyx butter gloss in apple strudlelhas been my fav this month i’ve been wearing it like, everyday. i love basically all of the colours in the butter gloss but i’m really loving apple strudel, ive gone through a couple of tubes of this in the last couple months and ill be repurchasing more and more and more
FOUR SQUEAL! my new glasses! girl can see again, these are the frames i got and i love them, they are different, i never thought i would be getting a coloured frame but i did and i get compliments all the time, my husband says i look like a nerd, in a sexy good way! i got them at FYI doctors!
FIVE these are one of my JUSTFAB shoes that i recently hauled, which you can read about here, these shoes are the bomb. seriously thought, they are SO comfortable and it is crazy that i think i’m going to order another pair in fear of these ones ever get old and fall apart??
SIX greet tea lemonade {starbucks} baby! we had some super hot days in august and ive been loving this drink… of course next month youll see what my fav HOT drink is, since its been FREAKIN SNOWING WHERE I LIVE @#$P(&!@(&P!!!


till next time loves.

just fab mommy haul

i cant remember the last time that i bought myself shoes or a purse. about a year or two ago i signed up for justfab and i’ve really been loving it. i say i haven’t bought myself anything in the last X amount of months but i kinda have? it automatically charges my card and i usually don’t skip a month so as it sits i had 7 credits to use so at least 7 months of charges….. which i don’t mind cause now at times like this when i’m shopping away online i dont spend a penny {that i really notice} and i get so much great stuff. have you noticed how much i love to shop???? i decided to step it up since i’m pretty well always using my diaper bag  as a purse which i love don’t get me wrong, however its not cute when i’m on my way to work or on date night. so i bought stuff that i DONT have, usually i go for flats or wedges and purses… what purse?? ive been carrying a wallet around and that’s it. so here’s my little haul of all the new pretties i got!


ONE  alysee, shes a beauty. its like no shoe i’ve ever seen before. i think it’s so trendy and chic and is really versatile, can go with a dress, skinny jeans or dress pants
TWO ardin, i love these edgy flats, they are a synthetic snake-skin fabric and I’m in love, i plan to pair this with leggings and a plaid button up, which is SUPER trendy this year
THREE calliesa, love. i don’t own any strappy heels so again i thought i would venture out and try a pair, cant wait to put on some skinnies and put these bad as heels on
FOUR east end, i dont have not one black and gold purse and i thought it would be a perf match made in heaven with alysee
FIVE i wanted a fun pop of color relaxed back but still fancier, since when i’m dressed up i’m pretty well always in black cause i’m boring like that then this pop of hotty berry color would be amazing

till next time loves.

BABY number TWO

now that Oakley is two i hear it all the time, whens the next one coming? so have you decided on another? are you pregnant yet? are you trying? and to be honest before i had kids i used to ask the same question to other women, not thinking anything of it, but now i find it pretty rude, maybe that’s the a-hole in me ha! i dont think people realize when they say comments like this it could hurt someones feelings or even say these things not thinking just maybe they don’t know the whole story, maybe someones having infertility issues this time around, or maybe miscarriage? or maybe juuuuuuuuuuuust maybe they don’t want to have another baby now or {just yet anyways} and thats where i fall into place. i’m SOOOOOOOO happy with just Oakley right now, he’s at the age where hes just easy. well NOT easy but he gets stuff, when i say eat he does and i don’t need to feed him, he pees/poops on the potty like a big boy, he gets dressed pretty well on his own, and well all around hes just an easy kid. he wakes we play and read and go plavces and eat and then we have lunch and then we do that all over again and then its nap. and again all over again and we eat and yet again you can get play read etc bath bed. we have such a routine and its easy. its just easy. any maybe that’s selfish of me but one works and thats’ that : ) maybe in a couple years we will want another baby because we miss that baby stage but i truly think right now and probably forever one is good for us. i also hear so many things like

‘that’s so mean only having one child’
‘your child will grow up so spoiled’
‘your so selfish’
‘that’s child abuse’
‘only child kids are so sad’
‘if you don’t have another he will be so lonely’

its amazing what people will spew out of their mouths without thinking about it. Just because somthing is right for someone else’s family does not mean its right for mine. We have one kid cause like i said its nice and easy and its our lifestyle too. we like to go places, see things, have things, do things, and i want Oakley to have things, see things, go places and do things, AND i want to be able to give him all that and more {and not the he gets what he wants spoiled little brat stuff but stuff like university tuition}. He deserves it. & if we have more kids we might not be able to do just all that. They cost a pretty penny! Luckily i get so stay home with Oakley and so we basically live on my husbands salary and i’m thankful every single day for this, but again because of this too affording one child later on in life also makes sense for us. Aside from the money and all the other little things, Tyler and I have for the longest time felt one is right for us, we feels so happy and complete and i think that’s the most important part for us, to feel complete. as for peoples comments i just agree to disagree and i don’t give it much thought, people say the darndess  things, and as long as i’m happy with my decisions that’s all that matters to me.

till next time loves.

My Birth Story – One Year Later. PART ONE

So I never made a ‘birthstory’ and its not for any reason, i will say however even the day after Oakley was born, i just remember it feeling like such an out-of-body experience. I believe if i told this story a week later or 6 months later or now it wouldn’t have changed, cause it was SO out of it and really don’t remember timelines, i just remember events! so i’m going to write it all out, and it might not be all that good, but hay! thats my story!

As many know i was a beast when i was pregnant, i gained an average 26lbs but i was so swollen and retained SO much water i couldn’t bend my feet or really do anything! i took my wedding rings  off at 26 weeks and i was just, a hot pregnant mess!! At 35 weeks my OBGYN sent me for an ultrasound to see why i was measuring so big, was it water? was it baby? etc, at that ultrasound O was already 6lbs so that was my reason for measuring 4 weeks ahead, well that at because my belly went straight out! At my 38&39 week appt my dr swept my membranes and stretched me as i was already 1cm dilated since 37 weeks, I was SUPER hopeful as i knew a couple people that went into labour just that day or the day after they had their membranes swept. However it didn’t do anything for me unfortunately! My 39 week appt was really about 39+4 as my dr was on holidays, so at that appt we discussed what my options were going to be i had NO signs of labour ahead really other then i had lost some weight which some say is a sign and my BP was getting a little high for me (regular 70/120 higher 90/150) but nothing like this is defiantly happening i feel something going on!… and since i was already measuring 44weeks pregnant when she was measuring my uterus, she said she was going to call the on call dr that was going to be on, on the weekend and to look forward to a call from her later that day. Well it was just a couple of hours later and she called me to tell me that the on call dr told the hospital to call me on sunday [39+6 which was also CANADA DAY!] morning and as soon as they had a bed for me i was to come in to get induced! i was so excited to meet my little man and to just be a mom and not be pregnant anymore. I called my hubby right away and he shared my excitement as we were just happy to have an eviction date for him. Sunday morning i got up at 6 am and showered and did my hair and my makeup and got dressed etc, i didn’t know when they were going to call me so i wanted to be prepared to leave the house the second they called cause i was so anxious! haha on a side note we only live 5 min from my hospital too so its perfect. At about 11 am i got a call from the hospital to come on in ! so Tyler packed up the car and off we went. We walked into the hospital at about 1115 and went up to labour and delivery they took my papers and got me weighted in and got my height etc. they put me into my room and there i was, i remember looking around thinking oh my god! this is where i am going to have my baby, what?? crazy talk! Anyways they hooked me up to the monitors to check the heart beat and to check my contractions, my nurse then asked me all the question that they usually ask, if i had a birth plan, if i wanted pain medications, who i wanted in the room etc. about an hours later my OBGYN came in to my room by surprise since she wasnt on call but she came in to start my induction, she insert my first dose on cervadil, which BTW totally hurt for a woman she had big hands! AND i was so posterior and i wasnt effaced at all so it wasnt fun being put in. So 1pm ISH i was 1cm dilated, 0%effaced. At about 230 they came back to check on me they had said that Oakley wasn’t responding to the cervail very well and they have to remove it as i was have contractions back to back to back [which werent doing anything because i couldn’t feel them at all but again was making Os  heartrate go way down then way up] So she took the cervadil out and they said they would put me on pitocin. so they put my IV in and got me rigged up. i was still have contractions every 3 minutes but again they wernt painful or doing anything as when they came to check me a couple of hours later i was STILL only 1cm dilated and 0%effaced. At this point i was SUPER sad that not one thing was working, so my OBGYN came back to visit me and said ok its 530 I’m going home for the night we have 2 options keep going with the pit or break your water and keep on the pit. So i was really trying everything to move it along so i told her to break my water. Just as she told me it would, it felt like i was peeing myself and it was warm and she told me it was clear fluid and that all looked great, i remember her telling me she thought i would have a lot more water than i did  because my belly was just so big! Anyways, she cleaned up and changed my pads and wished me good luck, and on her way she went, about 15 min later i decided to get up and walk around and bounce on the birthing ball. As i was bouncing i was in my hospital gown with a bra and tank top on underneath.. can’t remember if i had underwear on?? bounce bounce bounce and all of a sudden Oakley’s head must of been going up and down and all my water came flowing out on the floor!! i was like oh my god ! it’s everywhere! and when i say everywhere i really mean everywhere it was like a puddle the size of like a 4 foot x 4 foot area around me, i was so lucky thought i was able to keep bouncing and my husband and my wonderful SIL cleaned it up.. haha, suckers. It was maybe but 5 minutes later and i got my FIRST contraction that i actually FELT. well i thought it was a contraction but i wasnt sure, it was really painful in my back and it just wasnt fun, that was about at 6 pm. i contracted for a couple hours every 3 minutes which were super painful again all the pain in my lower back, and at about 9 they came in and checked me and, defeat. i was only 2cm dilated and like 20%effaced. SRSLY?! was this real life. I walked the halls and was just in so much pain i couldn’t believe it. i mean i could but i breathed through every contraction and kept walking. One of the nurses came over and showed him some pressure points on my back and seriously when i had a contraction she took the pain away, you think my hubby could recreate that? nope. wonk wonk. ha! Any who, hubby and my SIL were a great support system, i alternated between the sitz bath and the birthing ball etc. I remember wondering when it was going to end, when i was going to have him, what he was going to be like, who he was going to look like, and that kept me going, i truly was in so much pain but i had my eye on the prize and i tried to keep going. At about 4am they checked me and i was 4cm and maybe 50%effaced, so really i hadn’t made like any progress, i was so hard-core pain for already 11 hours and i felt like nothing was happening, they asked me if i wanted an epidural, i hummed and though i went in here opened minded not wanting one but if i needed it then i would, i still felt a little defeated when i said yes please. about 45 minutes later the anesthesiologist came in and did his little blurb made me sign the papers and then i got the epidural. immediately after, they gave me the catheter and it didn’t hurt going it but it hurt when it was in, like BAD, i told the nurse and she said to wait and the epidural should help take that pain away and it should kind of adjust itself in there and it will be better, so 1/2 hours later it was still killing me, so i called the nurse and she took it out. and it was instant relief, she said it looked like it was placed perfectly and it looked good so she wasn’t sure why it was hurting, so right after she gave me another catheter and all was good, no pain, it was great. Apparently after that i slept for 2 hours ( so my SIL and husband said ) but i dont remember doing that i felt like i closed my eyes for a second and then i opened them saying ‘oh no not again, no please no’ my epidural didn’t work, like legit it didnt work, i could still move my legs and feel everything, so there i went i laboured in bed, my contractions went like this for the remainder of my labour: 45 second break, contraction for 90 seconds, 45 second break, contraction for 90 seconds, so on and so forth. i couldn’t catch a break and i remember about 8 am they checked me and i was 6 cm, not sure about effacement. while i was in a contraction it felt like my labour was taking FOREVER and NOT progressing at all, i just kept telling myself i can do this i can do this breath breath and as another contraction came my famous labour words came out each time ‘oh no not again, no please no’ Which, not sure why i said it i knew it was coming each time, must have been my way to deal with it. about 11 am they told me i was 8 cm dilated and boy, i felt it. Because my epi didn’t work, i truly felt like i was feeling the transition state, at this point i kept saying i need to push i need to push and my OBGYN and the nurses said Nicole we JUST checked you, you were only 8cm and 90% effaced you can’t push you’re not ready if you push you can do more harm then good!! i was like well i’m not pushing but my body is! something inside me was trying so hard NOT to push but i couldn’t stop it from happening. When the nurses checked me she could feel Oakley’s head and said he was head down but he was facing sideways instead of the face down or up that they like, so lucky me (not) i got to go into all sorts of positions to try to rotate him, i was on all fours hoping gravity would move him, i squatted, etc you name it i did it. unfortunately nothing was working, so i just laboured on for a couple of hours till about 130pm when they checked me and told me i was 10cm dilated and 100% effaced. i was so happy i think i cried a little! i was thinking YES this is it! i can push and meet my little man…..

My Eleven Month Postpartum Update

well i usually don’t talk about me. or the way i look. ESPECIALLY since i had a baby. but here it goes.

Pre/Post Preg Weight: 124lbs pre, 11months out 114lbs

Pre/Post Pre Cup Size: 34C pre, 34C/D post

Postpartum Period: i got this at 6 months PP. & i still get it, however it’s not normal.. i have sometimes 26 day cycles and other months 34 day cycles.

Contraceptive: at my 6week PP checkup my OBGYN prescribed me the pill & the IUD. i went on the ‘mini’ pill (safe for breastfeeding) for 3 whole days, and it made me SICKER then a dog, i was so dizzy, nauseous, headache etc.. needless to say i stopped taking it. We are definitely practicing SAFE sex haha ( i’m 23 and practicing safe sex, i know COOL LIKE THAT )

Clothes Size: shirts small, sometimes medium, Pants depending on the brand a 2-4 is typical

Feel: i FEEL pretty good, i have good and bad days. Some days i feel like i look pretty good after having a baby, other days i still hate my postpartum body. You may or may not know i got a few hundred stretch marks which are silver and they don’t bother me, but what bothers me is the saggy skin it left cause i got SO many of them. it sucks. but i would do it 300 times over to have my sweet baby.

Other: Since i had Oakley, other things have changed. my hair is STILL falling out, it is slowly growing back too ( i have those awesome horns of hair on the top of my forehead ) but mostly falling out haha. My nails wont grown with the crap!! i had really long nice beautiful nails and then i had a baby.. ive noticed i started breaking out again, which sucks, its like i’m 12 again getting my first period which i’m sure coincides with the fact that PP i’m super oily. i think maybe my hormones are still outta wack?

Baby No. 2: HAHA, yea, right 😉 im SUPER DUPER content with my baby boy right now, and maybe down the line we will think about another one.. not any time soon for sure. although my husband definatly wants another one, im just not convinced…

I think that’s about it for me as for an update, if you have any questions feel free to leave a question below and i’ll be happy to answer 🙂

heres me about 10 3/4 months out..

11 Month Postpartum

HAPPY Mothers Day!

HAYYYYYY! So although I’m still posting from my phone 🙁 I wanted to show you all these amazing little photos of my lil man and my sweet nieces. My sister in law & i got this done for mothers day, and think they turned out fabulously. It’s easy when the kids are so darn cute to photograph. Here’s just a few of our favorites. They were taken at a local park just 10 minutes from my house! And although it was cold the kids did great! Photos were taken by Tricia Moskal Photograhy & we couldnt be any happier! I Hope everyone had a magical mothers day and hope you all got spoiled rotten. xox